It’s summer down under in Australia, which means that Aussie Bros are up to their usual shenanigans: Drinkin’ beer all day, surfing, being insane degenerates who DGAF about anything.
These two Aussie blokes, however, are crime-fighting heroes. While piss drunk in the parking lot of a gas station, they spotted two thugs trying to rob the station. Here’s how bloke-tastic Aussie party site Lost In E Minor describes the incident:
James Ross-Munroe and Kane Wiblen were ‘chilling’ at the Arundel service station (as you do) late at night after a stubbies and singlets party, when they saw people breaking into the shop. Dressed only in shorts and thongs, James thought on his feet and stole the car keys from the ignition, making sure the criminals couldn’t get away.
This is 2016, so the whole thing was recorded on video:
Yesterday James and Kane went on Australia’s Today Show to give the interview of the century, though it’s tough for my dumb American ears to understand through their think Aussie-accents:
“The only gym I go to is Jim Beam”
Goddamn right. Stay woke, Aussie Bros. And never, ever change you crazy animals.
Image: Fairfax Media / Getty Images
UPDATE: Thursday, Nov. 12, 3:55 p.m. AEDT:Tony Galati has lost part of his battle with the Potato Marketing Corporation (PMC), the "potato regulator" mentioned in this story, according to ABC News .
Perth's Supreme Court have granted an injunction to the PMC to prevent Galati from growing more than 6,000 tonnes of potatoes each year. Galati said the state government should be embarrassed for allowing a Supreme Court injunction against potato growers for merely growing potatoes.
A man with the biggest eyebrows you've ever seen is going to court for growing too many spuds.
Tony Galati, an infamous personality in Australian culture known for his chain of grocery stores in Western Australia and, as aforementioned, magnificient eyebrows. is in a spot of legal bother. Galati's long-standing feud with a 'potato regulator' (of all things on this planet of ours) has finally boiled over.What's the problem?
The issue, apparently, is that Galati is negatively influencing the fresh produce market by growing more potatoes than is actually needed. The regulators claim he planted more than his self-imposed quota of approximately 6,000 tonnes of potatoes, according to the ABC.
Australia's Potato Marketing Corporation (PMC), an unusual market regulator, recently tabled their annual report and found that Galati is making potatoes really hard to sell in Western Australia. "A substantial oversupply, largely by one grower, negatively [influenced] returns and distorted markets," the report stated.
The PMC, the only spud regulator in Australia, decides who can grow potatoes, how many hectares can be planted, the price of potatoes and has the power to stop and search vehicles suspected of carrying illegal potatoes.
Galati takes no notice of the PMC. For example, he gave away 200 tonnes of excess potatoes to customers for free earlier this year, causing a fluctuation in the tightly-controlled market and leaving other growers with excess produce.
PMC chief executive Peter Evans told ABC Rural radio. "it is widely known Mr Galati is not a supporter of regulation."
— The West Australian (@thewest_com_au) September 30, 2015
The potato king owns six Spudshed stores plus a giant liquor outlet, a meat processing plant, and employs over 700 staff. His network of farms is located all over Western Australia, a state that takes up a third of the entire Australian continent. This means Galati is in a unique position to attempt to stand his ground as he grows, washes and sells the potatoes at his stores — unlike any other seller in the region.
So, Galati is one man who isn't phased by the fuss, and says he'll gladly go to jail on contempt charges because it would make Western Australian authorities an international laughing stock, according to The West Australian.
In his own words. Galati would just like the "potato police" to "bugger off."Who is this guy?
Galati is something of a national treasure in parts of Australia, known for being what many see as the epitome of the "Aussie Bloke." His penchant for blue shorts, a singlet and vest combo, a thick accent and can-do attitude are vital features of his character and have made him a dearly loved face in Australia's media for some time.
The ad campaigns for his supermarkets are also suitably hilarious.The potato heir
The icing on top of this potato-flavoured cake is Galati's son, the heir to the potato empire, who also happens to be an international model. Frankie Ellis-Galati models regularly for labels like Givenchy but shares his father's passion for local produce.
The duo are commonly referred to as the "The Beauty and the Beast," but Ellis-Galati happens to have a degree in commerce and is being groomed to take over his father's business when Galati retires.
A photo posted by PCM International (@pcmintl) on Dec 8, 2014 at 9:07pm PST
TODAY show hosts Karl Stefanovic and Lisa Wilkinson kicked off their first show for 2016 this morning with one of their more memorable interviews.
Crossing to the boys in Queensland, Stefanovic and Wilkinson could barely get a single question out before bursting into fits of laughter at the oh-so-Aussie responses.
“Take us back to what was happening leading up to that moment,” Wilkinson asks the pair, her face a picture of studied seriousness.
“We’d been down at Options Tavern at a Stubbies n’ Singlets party and went up the road to go to the servo and get some noodles, went to jump over a sign on the way and slipped over and busted me plugger [thong],” Ross-Munro said, prompting uproarious laughter from the Today team.
“That’s so Australian,” was all Wilkinson could muster in response, while Stefanovic said he was still stuck on ‘Stubbies n’ singlets’.
Karl’s gone. Source: YouTube
“I was pretty concerned about my blowout, and looked up and saw a white commodore pull up with two guys with shirts ‘round their faces. Thought something was a bit suss so thought, better go and check it out,” he continued, as the hosts struggled to contain their laughter.
While the brave pair have become internet sensations since footage of their exploits was posted online, they’ve also been criticised for putting themselves in unnecessary danger.
“This incident was resolved without injuries, but we would urge members of the public to contact police rather than confront offenders,” said police inspector Scott MacQueen.
Don’t try this at home, folks. Photo: Supplied Source: Supplied
Armed with only a busted thong, Mr Ross-Munro bolted to the shopfront where he ripped off his shirt and took the keys from the ignition of the waiting getaway car.
Mr Wiblen videoed the whole dramatic incident, including when Mr Ross-Munro came to blows with an offender before chasing the two men, while screaming obscenities.The full interview
“Taking the keys from the ignition would have been enough to slow the offenders down, jumping in the car was not needed,” Insp MacQueen said.
“Police are specially trained to respond to these situations, they have tasers, capsicum spray and guns.
“A gentleman with a busted thong just doesn’t have the same capabilities.”Two men bungle attempted robbery of Oporto at Arundel 2:05
A Gold Coast man has become a local legend after he bungled an attempted robbery at a fast food restaurant at Arundel by taking the keys out of the ignition of the alleged get-away vehicle.
The robber who tried to break into a house and ended up as a sexual slave for 3 days
A Russian robber broke into the salon of 28-year-old hairdresser who was armed with significant martial arts training. The woman held the 32-year-old armed robber captive for two days as her personal sex slave. He was gagged, kept handcuffed to a radiator with pink furry handcuffs. and allegedly fed Viagra before being forced into intercourse with the woman on multiple occasions. After approximately 48 hours of punishment, the man was released from his prison, heading straight to the hospital for treatment for a torn frenulum. He then went to the police to report Olga for "actions of a sexual nature". Shocked police then arrested Olga, who promptly reported Viktor for robbery. “What a bastard,” Olga complained. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I've bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left.” Olga and Viktor are both now apparently on charges, the woman could be convicted of rape, while the man of robbery. (Source )
The robber who asked his victim on a date
Not only did a trio of robbers hold up a couple in their home, but one of the men came back two hours later and asked the female victim out on a date. The robbery occurred in Columbus, Ohio on a Sunday night when a couple was accosted by three robbers in their home. Stephon Bennett, 20, of Columbus, was arrested after he returned to the home and asked one of his victims, Diana Martinez, for a date. The woman recognized the wayward lothario as one of the trio and she asked a relative to call the police.
Bennett was arrested in front of the house. He was arraigned on one charge of aggravated robbery, is being held in Franklin County jail on $100,000 bail and is waiting to be assigned a public defender. (Source )
The thief who made a pause to pray with the victim and then proceeded with the robbery
A robber holding a gun on an Advance America cashier apologized to the woman for his actions, but went ahead with his robbery even after praying with the victim. Cashier Angela Montez, 43, began crying when she realized the man's intentions. She began to talk to the man about God, she said, telling the man he still had the opportunity to refrain from committing the crime he had planned. The man told Montez he had a 2-year-old child to support and then asked Montez to pray with him about overcoming his hardships. The two got down on their knees and prayed, remaining on their knees for nearly 10 minutes. In response to the woman's kindness, the man took a bullet out of his handgun and gave it to her, according to the report, telling the clerk it was his only bullet and promising not to hurt her. He then asked Montez for a hug. Despite the heart-to-heart talk, the man was not dissuaded from his plans. He took the woman's cell phone, told her to go into the restroom and to refrain from calling police for 20 minutes.
The man took $20 in $5 bills from the cash drawer, according to the report — leaving the rest of the cash in the drawer.
The robber who used his girlfriend's vibrator as a fake gun
A robber held up bookmakers with his girlfriend's vibrator. Nicki Jex concealed the Rampant Rabbit sex toy in a carrier bag and pretended it was a gun during the raid on the Ladbrokes shop in Leicester on December 27 ,2007. A member of staff at the branch handed over more than £600 in cash when he pointed the bag at her. The robbery was captured on a CCTV camera inside the shop. The surveillance camera recorded Jex striding into the shop brandishing the "firearm" minutes before staff were due to close for the day. He pointed the item in the carrier bag at the cashier. She immediately assumed it to be a firearm. In fact, what was contained within the carrier bag was the Jex's girlfriend's vibrator. The cashier retreated behind the counter and he turned the imitation weapon on the shop manager, demanding cash. She handed over £613 in till contents and other money. As Jex made his escape, the shop's only remaining customer, Wayne Vakani, followed him outside. Jex visited a local pub "obviously flush with money" to buy friends a drink. Thanks to Mr Vakani, the robber's hat worn in the robbery and containing his DNA was discovered nearby.
He was sentenced to five years behind bars. (Source )
The thieves who drew themselves masks with permanent ink
There was little to disguise what these two had been up to moments before police pulled them over. Would-be burglars Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller's masterplan had one tiny flaw --their 'disguises' comprised of masks drawn on their faces with permanent marker pen.
American police stopped their car after a witness reported two men 'with painted faces' were trying to break into a flat in Carroll, Iowa. The caller added that the pair were wearing dark, hooded tops and had driven off in a big white car.
Police soon spotted a 1994 Buick Roadmaster matching the description and stopped it at gunpoint. Inside they found the two men, both of whom had what appeared to be masks, beards or moustaches scrawled on to their faces. McNelly, 23, and Miller, 20, were both charged with attempted second-degree burglary and were released on bail. (Source )
The burglar who repented and returned the jewelry he had stolen three years later
In 2007, someone broke into Suzie Fronterotta's home in Gallup, New Mexico and stole about a dozen pieces of jewelry and $1,000 in cash. Though they weren't the treasures of Antwerp, they did contain sentimental value. Among them was a 30-year-old pearl necklace and a bracelet given to her by a relative on his deathbed. So imagine her surprise when, three years later, she received a package containing the stolen wares. The sender was anonymous, but it included a note with his apologies. "Please forgive me, I so sorry I steal from you," the letter read. "So many bad things happen because I steal from you, I so sorry."
It seems that ever since he robbed the home, he'd been having bad luck, including the death of his wife. So this rare bad guy decided to make amends. Also said he hoped to pay back the $1,000 when he earned enough money. And just to return the courtesy, Fonterotta says she doesn't want police to charge the guy if they ever find him. (Source )
The hidden robber who was discovered because he laughed at victim's joke
He was hidden when the family arrived at their home but was caught after the couple heard someone laughing after the husband told a funny story. That must had been a hell of a joke.
The thief who had his name and birth date tattooed on his neck
Police did not have to lift a finger to identify this thief after he broke into a car specially rigged with cameras - because he had a huge tattoo revealing his name and date of birth.
Aaron Evans, 21, was filmed breaking into the Peugeot 106 in an NCP car park before making off with a stolen sat-nav device. Not only had he failed to spot the covert camera filming his every move but he had the vital information 'Evans 19.9.87' boldly tattooed on his neck. Evans was jailed for seven months. (Source )
The bank robber who threatened to file a complaint because the bank he was going to rob had no cash
A would-be bank robber threatened to file an official complaint after finding a bank in Springettsbury Township, Pa. had no cash on hand. 48-year-old Joseph Goetz allegedly attempted to rob a Susquehanna Bank branch office in the town shortly after it opened, but after learning that the bank had no cash on hand to give him, Goetz fled the scene while vowing to file a complaint with bank managers, police alleged. A bank customer who had been using the site's drive-thru services allegedly noticed the would-be robber fleeing the scene and followed Goetz as he left in his car. The unidentified customer called police, who stopped Goetz's vehicle and arrested him on suspicion of attempting to commit a robbery. (Source )
The goat that got arrested for armed robbery
Police in Nigeria held a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery. Vigilantes seized the black and white goat, saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into an animal to escape after trying to steal a Mazda 323. The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However, according to the police, one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat. Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw. (Source )
Seldom has there been a tale of more pure Aussie grit than that of the "Busted Plugga " heroes who, despite malfunctioning footwear, managed to foil a in-progress robbery with little more than the power of determination.
The two champions in question - James Ross-Monroe. and his documentarian chum Kane Wiblen - have captured the imagination of the Australian psyche to such a degree that The Today Show brought the pair on to congratulate their 'Strayan spirit, and let them tell their story in a little bit more depth.
And the Gold Coast pair absolutely delivered.
Turns out they'd been at something called a "Singlets and Stubbies " party before the aforementioned incident at the Arundel Oporto .
The story found a very special place in the heart of your boy Karl Stefanovic who, as is his trademark, absolutely pissed himself.
Shirtless and shoeless, James and Kane singlehandedly prevented the alleged robbery of a shop, despite having just suffered a "busted plugger". We spoke to the true blue Aussie heroes this morning, and these two blokes are nothing short of awesome! On'ya boys! #Today9
Posted by TODAY on Sunday, 24 January 2016
Karlos cracking up over a story about an Aussie bloke with a busted thong chasing off a robbery at an Oporto.
That, right there, is about as dead centre of Australian Internet as you are ever, ever going to get.
Source: The Today Show.
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